Characters

This will be a complete list of all the characters in the game. The final goal is to have links to pages for character groups and descriptions of unique characters on this page.


 * You
 * Aliens
 * Archaeologists
 * Anthropologists
 * Pilgrimes
 * Sky Pilgrimes
 * Skeletal Pilgrimes
 * Pilgrime Knights
 * Cyborg Pilgrimes
 * Bug Priestesses
 * Farmer Suzy
 * Horrible Screaming Murderer
 * Rob Leyak
 * Goddess Moronia
 * Coffins
 * (???)
 * Detective Joe
 * Disposable Nerds
 * Clifford Baseball
 * Cicada Marionette
 * Shiggy Miyamato
 * Chaos God
 * Hell Homes
 * Skulls
 * Receptionist
 * Frank Booth
 * Dendygar
 * Sammy
 * Television Faces
 * P.O.R.P.
 * Elizabeth of the Woods

You
You are a stranger to the inhabitants of this world and the only one of your species(?) around. The only clear exception to this is found within the Debug Maze, but that's super non-canon. You're a strange, long skirt-wearing alien woman with an impressive metabolism, bladder and lack of social or hygienic inhibitions. You are... "You".

Farmer Suzy
She keeps a stall set up right in your front lawn and takes your plantable resources in exchange for gold while casually making hateful or aggressive statements to you. She's visually similar to female pilgrimes, but has a function and demeanor all her own. She does not react to piss.

Horrible Screaming Murderer
The HSM himself is a guest character in Crypt Worlds, the star of his own game by the same developers. He sits at a table in your front lawn on certain days during your adventure. He'll sign a copy of his game if you bring one to him, but other than that he is utterly uninteractive. His slight similarity to the game's corpses is coincidental, I'm sure. The beer gut must have been a recent development. He does not react to piss.

Goddess Moronia
Goddess Moronia is a self-important white-haired god-horse, the ruling goddess and supposed creator of the Crypt Plains, the world in which the game takes place. She's the first character to speak to you in game and the last one you speak to during your adventure, presuming you complete her quest and go for the Moronia Ending. She can be found standing around at the back of the Crypt, where she'll snub the player hard if they haven't completed her quest yet. Apparently she also plays her music too loud and bothers the other Crypt residents. Does not react to piss.

Speako
A disembodied voice that speaks to you through phones littered throughout the world, giving hints and making casual, sometimes existential conversation.